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Today |
.Time to write a FUCKIN JOURNAL ENTRY!!!! YEAH!!!! WHOOOOO!!! FUCK FUCKIN' A!!!! I had a weird dream this morning. My dead grandmother had a swimming pool in her backyard. In my dream I was at the pool with Melinda and my boss Nestor. As I understood it, every morning we met to play a game of water badminton Nestor, Melinda, and myself. On this particular morning, the pool was super dirty and the bottom was covered in a greenish, moss-like substance. A fish lived in the pool and fed off the moss at the bottom. It was a nice fish, but as it fed off the moss it became larger and more aggressive. It was my job to get in the water and subdue the fish while Nestor got the filter working to clean the water thus ending the creature's reign of terror. Then my alarm went off. I didn't get to play badminton. Fuck. My co-worker, Carlos, went to Las Vegas this past weekend. In a bold assertion, he decided that if Los Angeles and Disneyland had a child, Las Vegas would be their offspring silly Mexican. I'm thinking their progeny would be a strung-out black man in a Mickey Mouse costume. I don't know. Mating cities is a pretty good idea though. How about letting Juno, Alaska and Amsterdam get it on? That'd produce a fucked up freak of a city, wouldn't it? Seriously, where else can you find a decent Eskimo hooker in this day and age? Not in San Luis Obispo believe me, I've looked. I went to Amsterdam once. Wow, what a fucked up place. Before I went, it had always been a fantasy of mine to get accosted by a Chinese prostitute in a sailor suit. Well, my friends, dreams, do indeed, come true. Where else in the world can you find shit like that? Not in Las Vegas, that's for damned sure. A 75 cent handjob from a she-male is about the best thing you can expect from a hooker on the Strip. I guess you get what you pay for (I talked "her" down to 50 cents.) At a 4-H summer camp in Roanoke, VA, counselors were caught making young boys fight each other. Here's the story. One of the kids started complaining to his father on the phone that his little kiddie noggin hurt. This was after the kid had been in, like, six toddler Battle Royals. Kiddie cock-fighting Crazy-assed Aggies.
It's insane, this guys taint - 2004-12-07 |