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Today |
.Ahh, Sunday … The Lord’s Day… We should stop meeting like this… Really, it’s a sad state of affairs. If you’ve never been, go to this website. It’s a hoot. Take a look at the StrongBad Email feature. I have a penchant for terrible music. Don’t get me wrong, I like good music, too. But listen, there’s just something about the re-mixed, catchy crap that MTV and Clear Channel Radio stations prostitute. You got an old Venga Boys album you want to get rid of? Send it my way… As we speak, Winamp’s spewing forth “All The Things She Said” by T.A.T.U.... Previously it was Evanescence’s “Bring Me To Life.” Wait minute, I’ve got a kick-ass ideal. What if Evanescence and T.A.T.U. put in some studio time together? They could cut an album where they cover each other’s songs… Yeah, elevator music in Hell, I know. Anybody have Cool As Ice? My copy vanished and I’m having a theme party next weekend where everyone dresses up as early-nineties, white-bread rappers. You’re invited. Don’t forget your parachute pants, Doug E. Fresh. You remember World’s Greatest Entertainer, right? Of course you do. What’s this, you say?! Doug E. Fresh is black, you say? Yeah … Black as ice…. YEEEEEEEAAH BOYEEEEEEEEE. Geech, my Chinese fighting fish, isn’t eating. He’s chillin’ at the bottom of his bowl, not eating. Wait, I’ll feed him some more Betta Bites™. Betta Bites™ - the cause of, and solution to, all of Geech’s problems. Let’s all hope he responds… Waiting. Waiting. Masturbating. Waiting. Nope … no response. Poor little guy. I wonder what kind of ingredients make up your average Betta Bite™… Let’s see … fish meal, wheat flour, HYDROLYZED fish meal, fish oil … Oh, God… the horrible realization … Soon they'll be breeding Betta fish like cattle! You've got to warn everyone and tell them! Soylent Betta Bites™ is made of fish! You've got to tell them! Soylent Betta Bites™ is peop- I mean – fish! Still, I do wonder what they taste like. Mmmm, not bad. I bet this would be a kick-ass foodstick filling… Enough meaningless rambling… Kissies.
It's insane, this guys taint - 2004-12-07 |